Monday, February 28, 2005
SO, IM SUPPOSED TO PRINT MY PROJECT BUT HERE I AM UPDATING (: SKIPPED MR YEO'S LESSON. AH AHAHAHAHA. WITH THE RETARDED MOTHER OF MINE. ( she threatens to tear the paper cos i called her retarded. nvm, she wont dare to. it's OUR project. xP) OKAY, SHE'S LIKE STANDING BEHIND ME LIKE OFFICER. BETTER RUN! LOVE!you think i don't mean what i say.
; stick with you
Sunday, February 27, 2005
I seriously hope she doesn't know the one I told her about was her.
(: I don't want the history to repeat itself. hinted her many times I fell for her, she felt the same way too. We end up walking separate ways again. ohwells. I'm trying to avoid falling for her now though. -shakes head- what if the same thing happens again? ohmygod. ): thinking of what I've went though this time, I feel the pain again. The thought of falling in love turns me off. GRRR.
Saturday, 260205
dad gave me 50bucks to buy whatever I want cos he got his bonus. wanted to buy escada perfume but dad don't allow! ): so bought the strips blouse I wanted for a long time! And a pair of white heels. (: wanted to get the mp3 but no time. went off to aunt's place. waited for them, cousin brought us down to Singapore Swimming Club. nieces, nephew and my sis went to swim. I didn't. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE NANNY, AGAIN! but this time, i'm paid to do it. heh. LALALALA. After swimming, down for dinner. It's flooded with people everywhere. So went up to the Chinese restaurant. both cousin were arguing who should pay cos both of them don't wanna foot the bill afterwards. hahahahah. (: didn't eat much though. after that, went downstairs to eat again! hahah. my cousins are like damn funny. we were laughing at my cousin's gf who has got terrible sore throat and she couldn't sing. my cousin was trying to imitate her voice. hahahah. tsktsk. went home after short while cos that dumb woman wants to pick up the kids from my aunt's place. Sunday, 270205
mum's side aunt's place. (: family gathering now. studied. taught my sister maths. heh. i'm great, a great great sister! (: GRANDMA COOKED DINNER TODAY! ohmygod. it's been long time since i've last tasted her cooking. family deciding to go thailand again! YAY YAY! JUMPS!
oh well,ive got plenty new songs! :D:D:D:D
why does she avoids whenever i say "i love you"?
; stick with you
Thursday, February 24, 2005
"I try to smile so the hurt won’t show, tell everybody I was glad to see you go"Both me and toii are going though the same thing. (: I'm glad there's someone with me. Ain't an easy route to walk though. But I'm sure, I'll pull myself through. :] Toii : Thanks so much for listening to my fucks. (: thanks for the little advices, i'll heed them yeah? You gotta be the best advicer I've met. (: I love you! haven't been blogging though. can't really come online. hah. SWEETHEART BUDDY'S COMING BACK ON MONDAY! (: something to look forward to though. (: my dearly her promised me something, and i promised her something too. heh. I LOVE HER. :]right. school was a killer today. i saw something that i don't wanna see, i gotta face it la. went compass with mans after school. skipped miss sek's afternoon class. heh. just ran out of the class like that. :) ate, talked so much. had much fun too. bought present for mich. her birthday tmr. (: a happy birthday girl, she is. home after that. (: i'm a good girl. alright, gotta run for dinner. (:"Loneliness found me, looks like its here to stay"
; stick with you
Sunday, February 20, 2005
you're a disgusting fucking flirty liar. you ain't the one that i know. you changed totally upside down inside out. so the whole story goes like this, i love you, you love me. but i also love her. she also love me. so i break with you, i go with her. :) splendid. whatever. i'm fucking pissed with that disgusting couple. ain't she guilty of hurting someone and lying to that person? okay, whatever. i don't wanna waste my time on bothering people who can't be bothered. i agree totally with meryl darll. (: she ain't that great to us, hur? (: well well, i dont hate her. :]Friday, 180205went uk funfair on friday ! i love those rides. each costed me $7.50! but nvm lah. it's okay ! as long as i'm happy and i enjoyed myself! it's all so thrilling! i don't really like the rollar coaster though. not fun at all. hahahaha. i spent like more than $50? hahhah. walked around causeway point! i bought my school bag, like finally! :]Saturday, 190205went to lasalle. miss teh said there's a open hse there. went there with qiaos. we laughed our way there. hahaha.talked so much through the bus ride. (: saw natalie wong! ahahah. she went to lasalle too, with jolene. :] after that, cabbed back to city hall. walked around. wanted to play with clothes but very lazy. went down to dhoby ghaut to meet nette. haha. took a train down to cine. had lunch. amy, serene and shermin came to meet us. wanted to watch movie but i can't cos i've got chingay going on later. so end up, didn't. took neos! (: shermin and serene went to heern after that. all slacked around at pastamania. veron came along later. she has got the Hide And Seek poster! damn huge! hahahaha. but, it's nice! oh lalalalala. i'll get it. :) heard that she's in town with her. uh huh, went off to meet my cousin after that. chingay is irritating. i was like waiting for it to end cos got 1 hr of street disco! i love it! (: it's so hot! :) went to orchard hotel to have dinner after that. reached home at around one! so tired. (: I shouldn't be bothered about you, why do I still care so much?!
; stick with you
Monday, February 14, 2005
happy valentine's day to one and all. (:
thanks for those little gifts. :) i love you all. -hugs
i'm so sorry. i might give those gifts late yes? kinda busy this few days. hah. :)
better to be late than never. :]
ah, i feel so loved suddenly. (: i've got so many presents. all sweets and chocos. it's a matter of time to have diabetes and die cause of it. (: hah.
SPREAD THE LOVE AROUND PEOPLE! (:
; stick with you
Sunday, February 13, 2005
ALRIGHTY. ((: happy chinese new year to one and all. :]so far, collected $1000 plus already. (: much more than last year! daddy gave $500 this year cos his salaries increased. heh. mummy gave $100 this year. same lah, this had never changed. aunties all give around, $50 each? same, this had never changed, either. aunties from daddy's side are rich people. TSK. mum's side, they give $20? alright lah. it's the thought that count. (: sass, nette, mans and jaslyn dropped by my place on friday. mum gave each of them angbao. heh. went to bathe, changed. off to heartland. took neos. (: sass and i took one tgt. it's nice. (: I LOVE. yesterday went to ktv woth the whole family. damn pissed. i dislike the idea of going with OLD PEOPLE, like my mum and aunties. ): they sing oldies, CHINESE OLDIES! ohmygod. thats something i hated so much. i almost fell asleep there. YAWNS! hah. sang half my heart out only. cos my aunt dont allow me choose the song! she said that we choose le then dont wanna sing! I DID! oh wells, was quite a fun one though. came across this song. "he has the right to leave, you have the right to move on."i strongly agree with this. (: she has the right to leave, i have the right to MOVE. :] buddy asked how far have i moved. 0920km okayye? heh. and i'm staying there, not moving and further or backwards. supposed to go out with sham, jo and jaslyn. but i can't go. mummy bringing me to town to get mp3 and xBox. heh. give up the outing with gfs for these ain't worth it though. i missed them so much. ):later! i gave up my heart to you, and i get pain in return.
; stick with you
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
school was fun today. wore heels. (: i'm afraid of falling! haha, but i didn't! lucky me! celebration was a damn retarded one! ohmygod! as she walk towards the stage, i couldn't take my eyes off her. (: how handsome. :]LALALA! new year! :) ang baos for me? heh.
; stick with you
Thursday, February 03, 2005
The Sixth Day, I DIDN'T CRY AT ALL TODAY! :D
glynis is super duper happy today ! come on, tell me imma happy girl. even the aunty at the stall said so! :D
we walked pass each other like strangers, i still do feel the heartache but yeah, im okayye! :D
i so love buddy. she's forever there for me. ( : without fail okay!
oh well, off to work. bye!
; baby, it's YOU
; stick with you
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
The fifth day, i'm still crying.
i feel so painful. i regretted asking things that i wasn't supposed to know. i regretted big time. every new day is a nightmare to me. :( i want people to hear me out, hear what i wanna say. i realised, no one understands. no one will. why did you give me so much hope when it was just a crush?!!
I'm making sacrifices, can't you see?
oh yes, good news! God finally answered my prayers. She's happier now. :D I'm glad to hear that though. well, when she's happier, i know what i will get. shall take it like retribution. since i've asked of it from God, i'll take it all away from her and let me be the unhappy one always, as long as she's happy.
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
Chorus
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Chorus
Ooh, And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Chorus x2
The one thing that I tried to hold on to....
The one thing that I tried to hold on to....
The one thing that I tried to hold on to....
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
; now, all i have to do is just putting on the strong front.
; stick with you
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
handle my heart with care, will you?
I don't believe in " I'll love you till forever." anymore. These are all lies. I don't wanna fall into another trap again. i fell into one. now, i couldn't get out. ): i feel so dead. It's the forth day already. i'm still waiting, i'm still shedding tears. i can't smile like before. i feel so terrible inside out of me. i've to be prepared for what i'm gonna hear from others everyday. I'm tired. I'm thinking of so much ways to get you back. Maybe, you no longer love me ( or maybe you didn't love me at all right from the start), but i still do. You don't wanna give our love a chance, you wanna give it an end. like i've said before, i always don't get what i want. i wanted our love to last.
You said, in ten years down the road, when you're we're gonna be in the best wedding suit in Fullerton Hotel, in the prettiest church at Paris. We'll be the happiest couple in town, in July, when we get married. Then we'll go over to Holland, migrate there. We'll have the first little boy and girl, Cadence and Jenyiah. Then we'll live happily ever after.
You told me, if one day, i couldn't find a guy that loves me, I could look for you, and you'll take care of me for life and you wouldn't leave till forever. I took your words for real, 'cos i know, this time i wouldn't be wrong. you're the one and only one I will love so much this lifetime. All my life, I'm looking for someone like you. When i've finally found you, I could hardly let you go. You said you won't hurt me, you'll love me forever and never let me go. Little did i thought, ending was just two months later kinda thing.
You said, maybe our thinking is different. You're tired, you're stressed up. So am I. I'm holding on, trying my best to compromise. As for you, you're tired of trying, sick of compromising. I tried so hard not to runaway from reality. But words I heard from you and others, tore my heart into two. I thought you would be there to mend them back, but you left.
I told you, I didn't want you to leave, I hope you could stay. You didn't wanted to be forced, so I have to let you go. And off you went. Now you're flying up high like the little bird, so free. ): Here i am, waiting for you to pick me up again and let me fly to a faraway place with you. This time, I wouldn't let you leave so easily.
Now, I prayed every night for the happiness you wanted. I would go down on my knees before i go to bed, pray for everyone's WANTED happiness, ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
the story seemed so DRAMATIC. Mind you, It's not okay. It's sweet and nice with bitter endings. Every love story has it's sourness, sweetness and ofcos, bitterness. It all depends on the two that is in love. (: It's so nice to be loved. I miss that feeling, and it must be from her. ): I miss the love from her.
"Dear Lord, let her know she's loved and give her all the happiness she wanted. Take her worries and troubles away. Bring them all to me. Give my happiness to her. I'll give up my happiness for her. Lord, bless her with pure bliss every single day. Don't let her get hurt. Bring all her pain to me, take all my joy to her. Let her know she's blessed by You. Be with her when she needs you around, Lord. Let her know, she's never alone. Let her know, You're here with her, and You'll never leave her. Lord, let her stay happy. Any unhappiness she have, bring it all to me. Take away all my happiness to her. And to the rest, who are suffering, not leading a happy life, take their pain away, Lord. I want them to be happy too. Give them happiness, bless them with happiness always. I pray this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen."
Alrighty, a Big Thank You to all those who were there for me when things ain't right, when things didn't go my way! hah, you guys are real sweet lah. :D love you all. God bless.
i'll make every sacrifices, just to bring back your love.
; stick with you
